So there are a few things that I struggle with. I don’t know about you but clutter and disorganization is a big issue for me. We are unpacking and the stuff just keeps coming. The CRAP I should say keeps coming. Things that make me say, why in the world do I have this. We are in San Angelo, Texas for only a few months and then will be moving to who knows where come August. I do not want to be moving all this stuff. in addition to that, a cluttered space keeps my mind cluttered. When I have a clean organized space (Which I don’t think I have had in my home for longer than a day) I am able to have clear, concise thoughts. With having Johnathan almost 5 months ago, my body is left with hormone imbalance. Now before you go saying, “Your attitude is the issue. Just suck it up.” it is not like that. Depression is an illness. You wouldn’t say, “Just deal with the sugar.” to a diabetic would you. But back to the subject- I have been having a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. I have dealt with depression since I was 16 but this anxiety and panic attacks are a new one for me. I strongly believe that all this clutter is contributing to my lack of peace. I was telling my doctor that in my mind, I felt like I had a vacuum running all the time. The loud humming the the bristles whirling over the carpet, just loud enough to where you can almost hear someone talking to you if you look at their mouth and read their lips. For me the loud humming are my thoughts, streaming from one thing to the next. All the time. Non-stop. “Clean this. Organize that. You forgot about this. What are we going to do for that?” I don’t know much about Feng Shui, but I do agree with the fact that energy can come from our surroundings. For me, I crave creative energy. It fuels me. Entices my mind. Clutter on the other hand takes away from what I truly want. So I am getting rid of stuff. My mind tells me, “Oh you could use this for such and such project.” and then I realize, I haven’t done that project a year ago, it is not going to happen this year. I also am getting rid of a lot my stuff that reminds me of my past, not because it was bad but because I need to move forward. Evolve and become who I am today. I have changed immensely since I have been married. Why shouldn’t my home reflect that? Can’t really do that if I am holding onto stuff that makes me want to revert back. I want my home to also reflect my interest. Like Womens’ Portraiture. It energizes my soul when I think about it, when I see beautiful photographs. I want to do that so bad, but I am holding myself back with fear. I guess getting rid of my old stuff is giving myself permission to not be afraid and to move forward with my life and my dreams. My one goal with decluttering is that if it will not help me complete my goal, there is no point to keep it. I have to tell myself, “No MERCY!” when going through boxes. The boxes are piling up with stuff to take to the thrift store or to offer to others. I welcome new experience. I am open to new opportunities as I clear my clutter and and clear my mind.